These days, some pastors even misguide folks who're getting married by not allowing them take heed of wise counsel about the person they want to marry. What they forget is that, marriage is indeed for better for worse, it is not something you go into with "test-and-see" mentality and later run away.
If two people are not yet sure, the best is just don't marry. Once you exchange the vows you are in.
Let me leave you to read what Genevieve Magazine publisher, Betty Irabor, who has been married for 34 years, has to say about this all-important matter of marriage. Her words below:
"What's in a vow? Two weeks ago, I had arthroscopy and as always, my hubby was by my side; just as he was always there through out my ante-natal days and two deliveries. Ask him what hour my children were born and he would give you the minute by minute details.
He would have been in the theater for the arthroscopy if he was allowed. Before I was wheeled in, we goofed around and took pictures. He made me laugh so much that all anxiety vanished. As I momentarily looked back on the day Soni and I exchanged vows 'to love each other for better for worse, in sickness and in health' I realised that many couples have no idea of the weight of those vows until one of the two partners faces some physical, mental, financial and emotional setback.
And then that moment when it dawns on you that your marriage was founded on convenience. In sickness and in health!? What does that even mean? I know of a man who moved into the guest room the moment his wife was diagnosed with cancer leaving her to travel that bleak journey alone.
I know of women whose husbands cannot even be reached when their wives go into labour...I know of women who bail out of their marriages because their husband's biz took a nose dive..."for better for worse?" Right?
As I was wheeled back into my room, there he was... His face a mix of anxiety and an assuring smile!! Like most young ladies, I was starry eyed when I took my vows, they were just vows; I was getting married and hoped to live happily ever after.
The truth is, those vows are not some nursery rhymes you repeat after the priest or pastors,they are sacred! Your marriage will depend on them! Don't utter them unless you're ready to live true to them. Taking those vows in front of 500 applauding guests is not the same as renewing them everyday in front of that one person to whom the vow was uttered.
Life happens. We can't avoid that. But give your marriage the best shot. Don't give up on each other too soon. Don't forget those vows. Hold them dear to your heart. In all of our journey together Soni and I have found ourselves under the umbrella of His grace! Our latter years shine even more than the former. We bless God!
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